Is It Just Me? From The Heart Of A Client

It is helpful to learn about sensory integration treatment, theories, techniques and tips for modifying the environment for our children, and other ways to make life more pleasant for them. After all, that is one of the main goals of this blog.  But unless you’ve actually lived with a sensory processing disorder, it can be hard to empathize with someone who does, especially someone younger than you who is finds it difficult to articulate clearly how they feel.

I’d like to share a letter from a dear client, who tells us more than the most informative blog post possibly could about what it’s like to live with sensory processing disorder.  This perceptive teen speaks eloquently for the many kids and teens who are unable express themselves.

Something to say, that I’d like to express

Not quite clear, I’ll try nonetheless.

 It’s hard to describe, too hard to explain

‘Cuz it’s all going on inside MY brain.

 It’s all hidden, you cannot see,

It takes place inside of me.

 When I’m sitting on that school chair,

The one that greets me, each morn with fear.

 When I see it, I wanna throw a fit,

“Why can’t I, in you just sit?”

 The girl in the back, on the side and in the front,

They can sit there, like no great stunt.

 But when I sit down, my legs hit the floor,

Now’s the time, no moving—no more!

 I can’t not move, and just sit there,

I need to repeat it, like a reminder.

 It may sound odd, but it’s really true,

These little talks really go through.

“Don’t move, don’t flick, don’t tick-JUST SIT!

Be like everyone else, for a li’l bit!”

There’s like this thing, it doesn’t stop,

It makes me wanna skip, jump and hop.

It’s like an itch, unitchable,

It’s so itchy, it’s horrible.

It keeps on tingling, an annoying tingle,

It is every minute, EVERY single.

Is it her too, or only me,

Sitting there so jittery?!?

I want to throw my hands up in despair,

I want to say “I can’t do this, it’s not fair.”

I want to fall apart and cry,

But I DON’T do that, I give it another try!

So, when is the time, when I do say

That it’s not me, so it’s okay!

I tried my best, I did all I should,

And now I know, not everyone COULD.

How important it is to remember that children and adults who struggle with sensory integration are doing their best.

We appreciate hearing from you about your experiences, insights, and suggestions.

Please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at Miriam@otthrive.com.

Photo: Dan